While I can read the chants of a million high school and college students and teachers, I can't get past the notion that, for the first time, I must forgo the sun-filled week of Spring Break.Though in my heart I know I've turned a corner, grown to be a professional, I can't help but feel tormented each shopping excursion I seem to stumble into. I find myself swimming through the racks of bathing suits that I cannot wear. It's as if each and every store lures me in and scoffs at me.
Yes, Spring Break is mere days away. And while half of Texas will travel South to bask in the glorious sun, the rest of us will remain seated at our cubicle, waiting to see the clock strike 5pm. Of course, I can speak confidently, as if I would ever subject my innocent pale skin to the torture that is heat. But, I'll admit, if I had the opportunity, my Spring Break would be filled with nothing more than cuddling up with my honey and soaking in the newly-wed bliss.
I wish I could humbly state the reason for this discussion, but I feel as though "the cat has got my tongue."
Sigh.
Alright, fellow bloggers, I think I'm ready to open up. I told you an introduction was necessary if I was to bare my soul to you all!
Every girl dreams of being beautiful. Though the Word clearly states that beauty is fleeting, it's almost innate. We want to feel loved, adored, desired. We are the pursued--not the pursuers. And what better way to draw the attention of a man that with a swim suit? I'm thoroughly convinced of two things: Single women want a good body because they want to impress men. Women who are spoken for want a good body to impress other women. After all, is human nature not about comparisons and physical attributes?
Well, here's a little piece of my story, a piece of my heart.
After vigorously working out and claiming my man, my life began to change. With my now-husband in my life, I was treated to dinners and desserts, phone calls that lasted long into the night, and that giddy, peaceful feeling of finding "the one."
Slowly my self-control (self-discipline) began to crumble. The ease of spending hours of what could have been called loneliness, I had once filled with time with the Lord, working out, and counting my calories. But with the new relationship that quickly turned into an engagement that quickly turned into a marriage, I was struggling to balance my previous independence with caring for an entire other human! So much so that I gave up my daily time with the Lord for phone calls, so much so that I gave up counting calories to consume what must've been double my portion, so much so that I cancelled my gym membership to "plan a wedding."
After putting on what my mom so graciously called my wedding weight, the Lord began to speak to me. I lost my self-discipline. Besides the previous list, the new character and personality the Lord so beautifully molded me to become was quickly fading into the old-self I never wanted to be again. I needed an intervention. And He gave me just that. He so vividly told me that I could not have self-control over my physical being until I had self-control in my spiritual life.
The spiritual world is so much bigger, so much more real than any of us could possibly imagine. The battle wages every minute. The enemy wants our souls, he wants control, and if we are not careful to clothe ourselves daily, the outcome will not be so tender and sweet.
Friends, we must sacrifice what's lukewarm (what's not hindering, but not causing growth) for things that are 100-percent beneficial to our relationship with God.
Matthew 23:25-26, "...for you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are filthy--full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too."
So, alas, my first Spring Break as an old married, working woman [could I possibly talk about my husband any more?...Yes, don't tempt me ;)], I will be spending my time cleaning my cup. I'll think I'll start with the inside first.
No comments:
Post a Comment